Think Clearly. Love Deeply. Choose Wisely. Live Boldly.

I can be pretty impatient.

I’ve gotten better, but I hate waiting.  A lot of times in the morning I will walk outside with shirt, pants and shoes on, and crank up the truck.  Then I’ll go back in and finish getting ready.  The 30 seconds or so of trekking outside serve not only to save time, but on a cold morning it’ll wake you up faster than a cup of coffee (though that comes later).

Sometimes when the frost is thick I will be ready to go before the truck cab is defrosted.  In my younger, more foolish days (last winter), if I had a peephole, I was good.  I’d roll down the window and make sure no cars were coming and then roll up and roll out.  I always made sure I had a good field of view, but I’m sure that oncoming traffic was a bit unnerved to see me coming.

Now, I’ll sit in the truck and turn the windshield wipers on.  In thick frost the ice on the glass gets slowly chipped away methodically.  Each swipe reveals a little more of the outside world: the sun creeping over the horizon and, this morning, an enormous blood-red moon sinking in the west.

The original meaning of the word apocalypse means “to reveal” or “to pull back”.  The image is that a curtain or veil is being pulled back.  Revelation is also called “The Apocalypse of John” because John pulls back the veil separating us from Heaven.

Each pass of the wiper blades reveals a little more of the world clearly.  Bit by bit, crystal by crystal, broken down by friction and rubber.

“Give us this day our daily bread“.  I need wisdom to get through today.  Here and now.

“on earth as it is in heaven” to spread the Gospel of Christ, I must understand the Gospel and how it applies to me.

My spiritual windshield is far from defrosted.  Some days I feel like I have a tiny peephole, just large enough for me to see the road right in front of me.  The good news is this time I’m not driving.  When I give up my need for the illusion of control, then I am free to sit back and watch the pattern unfold as the Word passes back and forth across the windshield of the world.

A couple of months ago, we took Sophie to get her eyes checked.  She was not thrilled about going, so in an offer of paternal solidarity, I said I would get my eyes checked too.

Now, I pride myself on having pretty good eyesight.  I’m the guy that used to be put in the front seat on the college road trips because I could read the exit signs before anyone else.  In short, I rocked the distance test.  20/15.

Then came the big machine with little text right up next to my face.

Over the last few years I noticed that my focus distance had gotten farther away.  When I would work on a fishing knot I had to hold it a little farther away.  I recently bought a new Bible because my pocket one seemed to be a bit harder to read, but as far as seeing clearly.  I thought I was.

I was wrong.

Sophie and I both left our respective eye doctors with prescriptions.  Mine were for reading glasses.  Presbyopia is a condition I have often taught to my anatomy students.  The loss of close up vision due to age.

When I got my glasses a week or so later (thank you Costco) and went home and opened up a book and put them on and made a pretty startling discovery.  I hadn’t realized how bad my eyes had gotten.  Letters seemed to jump off the page.  As I took the glasses off and put them back on for several seconds comparing before and after, my definition of clarity changed.

As I have carried these glasses around in my pocket over the last two months, getting used to how they feel on my face, peering over the tops of them to see things in the distance, I’ve been thinking about how easy it is for me to change my definition of clarity in regards to eternal things.  When I spend time away from the Word, my definition of clarity changes ever so slightly. Justification and self-righteousness are the presbyopia of spiritual eyesight.  I have to constantly refocus and readjust, because my spiritual vision is not 20/15.  It never has been.  It’s more like 20/200.

Sometimes I like to put the print really close to my face.  My eyes strain to bring it into focus, but they can’t.  Not anymore.  Then, without moving the page, I put my glasses on and watch as the words pop into focus, suddenly readable.  I pray for that kind of discernment and wisdom.  That ‘the next right thing’ as my pastor puts it would be so clear, and I dive back into the Word.

This blog has been dead for the last couple of months. Apologies. First I didn’t know the future of the hosting. Then, I went out of the country (more in a later post on that). Third, the blog got hacked so I shut it down temporarily. A huge shout out and thanks to my former student Greg, who graciously gave of his time and resources to clean up the posts that were redirecting you to some website in Russia. Hopefully, everything is back to normal now.

I *do* plan on finishing up my Kilby series and then, who knows.

Thanks for sticking with me.

Hello readers,

I’m going to be losing the hosting service I had for this blog.  I’ve backed it up and won’t be posting anything new until I decide whether to continue and who to continue with.  Who knows.  This may be a good time to start anew.  I started this blog way back in 2005 before our first adoption journey.  I have not been as diligent about posting as I would have liked, but it’s been fun.

If/when I do move it, the URL address should remain the same.

There are a LOT of spambots that register on this site to try to sneak in their advertising.  I usually let them pile up and delete them en mass.  I just deleted about 30 fake users.  To try to cut down on the number of these I have to deal with.  I added a Captcha widget that helps distinguish real people from the bots.  It should only make you use it once.  If you have any problems, please shoot me an email and let me know.

OK, I’m a slacker.  I haven’t been updating the blog like I should.  If you read back through the years this blog has been around you will see that I write in spurts.  It’s been busy around the house, so that makes for slow posting.

We are doing great.  Getting ready to put our house on the market, which many of you know can be stressful and tiring.  We are excited about what God has in store as we try to give ourselves a little breathing room.  Katie’s prayer has been awesome: God, don’t give us a house if you’re not going to fill it up.

That was a rambling introduction.  It has nothing really to do with what I wanted to write about, save to update you briefly on our life.

When I was working on my thesis I read a lot of literary criticism by a man named Clyde S. Kilby.  He was a man I envied to a large degree because he got to spend a few afternoons with J. R. R. Tolkien and his wife, Edith, as well as C. S. Lewis.  He was a gifted scholar and an insightful writer and he is used quite a bit in my final thesis.  I even hinged one of my main arguments on one of his later conversations with Tolkien that contradicted what Tolkien had written in an earlier letter.  But, I digress.

I decided to look him up on Wikipedia and I found a link to his old college at Wheaton where it gave a mini-bio.  This line was what really startled me.

When Dr. Kilby retired in 1981, he and his wife Martha returned permanently to Columbus, Mississippi, where they had been married more than half a century earlier. Clyde S. Kilby died on October 18, 1986.

Those of you who grew up with me, or near me, could imagine my surprise.  For those of you who are scratching your head, Columbus, MS was a mere 17 miles from my house growing up and it was the booming metropolis of 50,000 people that served as a distraction and entertainment from small town life on the weekends.

I was only 15 when he died, but to think that a man that influenced a lot of my graduate career was living a short drive from where I was growing up is neat, but at the same time I feel a missed opportunity I had no clue about.  So I started reading more about him outside of his work on the Inklings.  He was a very smart man of God.  John Piper took one of his classes and a few years ago he posted a snippet of a lecture he once heard that changed his life.  In it Kilby discussed 10 daily resolutions.  I think they are changing mine as well.

I could just stick the list up here, but I want to take some time with them.  Writing about them will help me dissect them.  Since I need a little extra motivation to help me blog, I thought I’d make a series out of them.  I can’t promise a fixed schedule, but hopefully weekly.  There will be some pictures so those of you tuning in via Facebook may have to click on over to enjoy them.

First one tonight or tomorrow, Lord willing.

I haven’t really been able to write about this before now.  When we were in China we posted pictures of Shepherd wearing his swim goggles.  I remember the first time he put them on and looked at himself in the mirror.  He still couldn’t speak any English so he could just point to his reflection and look at us and grin.  After that he wouldn’t leave the hotel room without them on.  By that I mean he would pitch a loud fit if he didn’t have them before getting in his stroller.  It’s amazing how the mind of a three year old works.  We didn’t totally understand why he was so attached to them until after we got home.

While we were in China we were walking around a lot as a family.  Shamian Island is where adoptive families stay in Guangzhou so the residents there are used to seeing blended families.  Some of them are not used to seeing kids with special needs. On more than one occasion a Chinese person, usually elderly, would come up to us and start talking to us.  While we didn’t understand the words, we didn’t need to.  One little old lady pointed to Shepherd’s nub and moved her hand back and forth like she was cutting off a waiter filling her glass.  Her nose was crinkled up in disgust.  The words were foreign, but the motions were all too clear: You don’t want him.  He’s not whole.  You’re making a mistake. That’s why he was abandoned.

We didn’t understand the words, but Shepherd did.  Whenever this occurred he would stare off into space and ignore everyone.  As we would try to communicate with these people that we were well aware of this child’s needs it didn’t make him any less valuable, any less whole, you could see Shepherd’s body language buying into the lies The Enemy sent his way that his parents were almost helpless to defend against.

I tell my anatomy kids that when you look at someone, you are looking at dead cells with the exception of the eyes, and it’s true.  Our outer covering is old, keratinized, and dead: except our eyes.  Shepherd wore those goggles as protection; not from the pollution and dust in the air, but from the corruption of the lies that the world would have us believe: you must be perfect, or you’re no one.

When we arrived at the airport and the crowd greeted us, Shepherd went around giving high fives, meeting everyone, looking at balloons.  Quite a few people said the same thing to me:

“I thought you said he was shy.”

We had, in fact, warned our friends and family that Shepherd was shy and not to expect too much of a greeting at the airport.  We were wrong.  What we had taken for shyness was self-preservation.

Outside of the pool, Shepherd hasn’t worn his goggles since we came home.  He hasn’t needed to.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Jesus sees us how we are, special needs and all, and loves us.  He frees us to take off the goggles of self: self-worth, self-preservation, self-esteem; and bask in the glory of His righteousness. Righteousness we do not deserve, but can receive.  Mercy is not getting what you deserve.  Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.

I am thankful for both.

Over the last few months I have been playing a game from my childhood with my kids.  It’s an easy one to learn, but difficult to master.  I can remember playing this up in to my middle school years at least, if not later.  I don’t know if anyone else has ever played it; it may be that my friends and I created it.

Name: Crash Up Derby, aka Redneck Marbles, aka Matchbox/How Wheels Keepsies

Materials: An even number of toy cars of similar size and various makes and models, orange toy car track (optional, but good for beginners) 10′ minimum, longer for more challenging play.  If playing ‘keepsies’ each player supplies his/her own cars.

The Rules: Some method of determining who chooses first: flipping a coin, farkling, etc. are all valid.  Game variables are determined before the first car is chosen (see variables below).  Players take turns choosing cars from their collection/common pool to play with until each player has an even number of cars.

The person who lost the choosing method (the person who chose their car second) now chooses a car to compete.  After this car is chosen, his/her opponent chooses their car.

Both players place their car behind respective release points.  If plastic track is used, the end of the section of track closest to each player is their release point.  Hands are not allowed past the release point.

Both players count aloud, “one, two three” while moving their cars back and forth to attain momentum and rhythm.  On three (or a short pause after three depending on how the Lethal Weapon conversation goes) each player pushes their car forward and releases.  If a player holds on to their car too long or moves their hand past the release point the other play must call “do over” before the cars collide.

After the collision, either car not resting on all four wheels is ‘out’ and removed from play.  The winner of that round takes his/her car back and waits on the loser to choose another one from his pool.  If both cars are out the choice of car alternates from the previous round.

The winner is the player with the last car  remaining.

Game Variables: Before play, each participant must agree on the following:

• Keepsies?
• If a car is pushed too hard and flips before the collision is it out or a redo?
• In some variations the winner must leave his winning car in until it is defeated.  This is for more advanced players.
• If both cars are flipped over are both out, or is it a redo?
• If one car is upside down and the other on its side, are both removed? (again, with advanced play, some leave the side car in)
• If track is not used, aim must be good or a predetermined number of ‘misses’ must be agree upon before new cars are chosen (you know how older cars may not roll true).

Strategies: It is advantageous to choose your car second keeping in mind the general principles of physics and 80′s action/adventure car crashes.  If your opponent chooses an SUV for example, a sloped hood car such as a corvette or Porche 944 could be a good counter if your velocity is high enough.  Alternatively, you could choose a heavy car to counter in hopes that momentum will flip the other car over.  Experimentation and knowing your cars is the key to victory.

Dads, I know you’re tired when you get home, and money may be tight, but 10′ of track is $5.00 at Wal-Mart.  The return on your investment will be in the thousandfold.

I was home from school sick.  I was old enough and well enough to stay by myself.  I remember calling my mom at work telling her ‘the space shuttle just blew up!’  I sat glued to the television the rest of the day.

It was one of those days that I grew up a lot in a short period of time.

Never forget.

I spent the afternoon playing Jeremiah Johnson.  We got a good dusting of snow last night and I got home from work earlier than usual so I grabbed my pipe and my rifle and I hit the woods.  We are fortunate to have some public land 15 minutes from the house and you have to be really careful because folks hike back there (whether from ignorance or being stubborn, I don’t know) during hunting season when they’re not supposed to.  Still, it’s the closest place I have to hunt.

About 5 minutes after I got settled in the wind picked up and started blowing snow off the trees.  I knew fairly quickly that it would be an unproductive day.  An unproductive day doesn’t necessarily mean a bad one.  If I hunted (or fished) just for what I got, I would have quit a long time ago.

With the wind blowing I decided to stalk hunt rather than still hunt.  Squirrels and rabbits would be on the ground if they were moving around at all, so I hiked some familiar trails.  There was no one out there, the day was gray and overcast and if you managed to tune out the sounds of distant sirens and traffic, it felt like true wilderness.  I heard two Great Horned Owls establishing territory lines and had a ‘conversation’ with them and got them a bit upset thinking a third owl was moving in.  I jumped a few deer, which was great because in my 2 years of hunting this place during deer season I have seen exactly zero, so it’s good to know some are around (and I have a pretty good spot for next fall).  As light was fading I did take a long shot at a squirrel peeking around a tree at me.  It was a true ‘long shot’ and analogous to the good guy shooting at the fleeing getaway car in movies.

The woods recharge me.  I come home tired, but refreshed.  When I am in the woods I understand how Creation ‘cries out’ to and for the Creator.  I feel very close to God, and I worship.  It is my ‘almost church’, and that is good, but I have to be careful.  As close as I feel to God, it is *not* church.  It takes a proper perspective of God’s Word (Special Revelation) to truly understand and appreciate the goodness in God’s Creation (Natural Revelation).  You can’t reverse them.  That leads to bad theology, being ‘spiritual, but not religious’, and in short worshiping the Creation rather than the Creator.  It is something dear to me, which means The Enemy wants me to love it more than God.

So, there is a healthy tension in the ‘almost church’.  It is good when it drives to you community and fellowship, but it is dangerous when it replaces them.

What’s your Almost Church?

Well, If you’re not friends with me on Facebook, the month long drought of me posting on here might lead you to believe that surgery was more of a deal than I thought.  I just hadn’t taken the time to get back here and update.  I won’t bore you with a long drawn out detailed account of the last month, but rather give you the bullet points.

• Surgery went well.  The recovery was tougher than anticipated.  3 extra nights in the hospital (thank goodness for insurance)
• After making it home, the next few days were filled with Percocet dreams.  It was strange because I knew I was dreaming.  It made me feel a little better when the six foot mole in a business suit tried to get into the car I was driving because it had a meeting and needed a lift.  But they were still some of the oddest dreams I have ever had.
• I am incredibly thankful for wonderful alumni from both my schools who visited me, helped Katie with the kids, dragged our Christmas tree out of the attic and put it up for us, and just encouraged and loved on us.  You guys rock.  I loved seeing you, even if I don’t remember a lot of what we talked about (see previous bullet point).
• The first couple of days back to work were rough.  I had to wear sweat pants because I still had some dressing on my wounds around my belt area.  It was also rough because I wasn’t up to full strength yet (still not).  I work at a wonderful place.  Everyone has been so great.
• My birthday was one of the fondest I have ever had.  Not because there was anything special per se, but more because the random texts, facebook postings and phone calls just lifted me up all day even though I was still feeling peaked from surgery.
• I am really, really enjoying Mumford & Sons.  Check them out if you haven’t already.  Incredible band.
• Getting ready for exams.  Looking forward to some time at home with the family.  Last year we started a new ‘tradition’ of putting Sophie to bed in her PJs and then 15 minutes later loading her up in the car and driving to look at Christmas lights and ending up at Krispy Kreme with the red light on.  I’m looking forward to doing that with two kids this year.
• Taught Hamlet to my seniors and I think I have never enjoyed Shakespeare so much as this time.  I’ve read it countless times, but it is finally starting to grow on me.
• Taking in a big breath of helium and singing the Chipmunks’ “Christmas Time is Here” is a great way to entertain kids.  It works even better as a duet.
• I have the best wife in the world.

I think I have caught you up on our life for now.  I’ll try to post some pictures of the kids soon.  We had a great photo shoot with a former student who is a great photographer.  Here’s a preview.

Well, not much has changed since my last post. My surgery is still scheduled for the 19th. I have to say, I’m ready. The lower back pain is a little more frequent and a little more intense. I went in for some testing and everything looks like a go. The surgeon told me that he might not have to be as invasive as he thought. He’s going to have a robot “standing by”. I’m picturing some sort of droid like the ones that repaired Luke Skywalker’s hand.

The kids are doing great. They get along so well. We found a wonderful babysitter that both of them love. The really awesome thing is she’s a junior so she’ll be around for a while. Katie and I got to attend the Show Hope fundraiser dinner. From an adoption standpoint, the fact that we were able to leave Shepherd for that length of time and him be OK (there were frequent text check-ins) is amazing. The dinner was great. Ernie Johnson, announcer and son of former MLB pitcher was the keynote speaker and wow, what a story. If you’re looking for a place to give some year end dollars for a tax deduction, consider Show Hope. Both of our children are Show Hope kids.

That’s all for now. Keep praying for us. I’m sure I’ll have another update before surgery.

OK, I’ve put off letting a lot of people know about this, but I guess it’s time.  The next month or so will be pretty chaotic around here.  I’ll try to give you the short version.

Back in February I was having some “ideopathic discomfort”.  That’s medspeak for mystery pain.  After a month or so of monitoring it my doctor sent me in for an MRI to make sure it wasn’t gall bladder trouble.  The gall bladder was fine, but they found something else (don’t panic, it’s not that serious).

If you remember your high school anatomy, most people are born with two kidneys and a tube connected to each one.  I was born with two tubes on each kidney.  It’s called a dual collecting system.  It’s not that uncommon, but most of the time it’s caught in childhood and fixed.  I’m one of the ones that made it to adulthood.

So, one of the tubes is blocked, and that’s causing fluid to build up in the upper portion of my right kidney.  Again, back to high school biology, the kidney works because of concentration gradients.  If half my kidney is retaining fluid (it’s called a renal cyst and it’s not cancerous) then it hampers the kidney’s ability to do its job.  Think of trying to dry up a spill with a sponge and half the sponge is in a sealed container full of water.

They found this back in early May and the treatment is a partial nephrectomy, which is where they go in and cut out the part of the kidney that’s not working.  I put off having it done because afterwards I can’t lift anything heavy for about 6 weeks, and that was right before China where, as we know, one of my roles was pack mule.

Although it’s not dangerous at the moment, it is a bit uncomfortable.  The cyst is acting as a reservoir, which means it slowly fills up with fluid over a period of 7-10 days and then my side hurts for a day or so and I can do a pretty good Leslie Nielson impression (Naked Gun fans, you know what I mean) and then it starts all over.

So, on Monday, November 1, I have an appointment at Vanderbilt where I will have several consultations; including a visit to a lab I have called “Las Vegas” because what will happen there will stay there.  There are a couple of medical procedures I had hoped to never experience in my life and God, in his sense of humor has me lined up for one of them…twice.

Then, on November the 19, after a wonderful day of fasting and surgery prep (details omitted) I will show up at Vandy again, bright and early to have a laparoscopic partial nephrectomy.  I should be home sometime Saturday and will have Thanksgiving week to recuperate.

So, pray for us.  I’ll be out of commission for a few days.  Katie might need some help with stuff.  You can come visit.  I will love that, but I might not remember it.  The only other time I have had anesthesia resulted in a missing week of memory and a ton of phone numbers in my phone from old college friends.  I don’t remember how they got there, but Katie said I was calling everyone and being a “chatty Cathy”.

So, there ya go.  I’ll be sure to keep you updated.

Well, things are still progressing well.  Shepherd gets more and more comfortable each day and we learn how to ‘read’ him more and more too.  The last two days Katie and Sophie have been able to leave and go do something, while I stayed home with Shepherd.  He was not happy at all, but Katie recorded some videos for him on my iPhone just before they left.  When he would get too sad I’d ask him if he wanted to see the video and he’d watch, stop crying, blow the phone a kiss and then go back to sitting.  That’s most of what he did when she was gone, was sit.  The first time he sat on his toy car in the driveway and stared off in the direction Katie and Sophie drove off in.  Every once in a while he would point and motion for me to push him to go after them.  Sad and sweet at the same time.

Today was a bit easier.  Katie made a great point yesterday.  He faced his biggest fear: mom leaving.  She left, and she came back.  He sat in his little rocking chair the whole time she was gone, but I did get some smiles and laughs out of him today.  He has a wonderful sense of humor.

This afternoon we went to a large festival at Centennial Park celebrating diversity.  There were booths from all different countries and there were thousands of people there.  We got to see some traditional Chinese dance and walked around a bit.  We definitely want to go back next year and spend more time.

Looking forward to tomorrow.  Family pictures!

For want of a nail the shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe the horse was lost.
For want of a horse the rider was lost.
For want of a rider the battle was lost.
For want of a battle the kingdom was lost.
And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

Friday night was not a good night for Shepherd.  We are picking our battles in regards to when to be firm.  For three years all he has known to do was whine and make noise until someone took care of him.  It’s hard to train him how to use his words and it is also hard to tell when he legitimately needs something (his needs can be as simple as a hug) or when he is playing us to get his way.  That’s why you choose your battles.  You have to be sure you aren’t aggravating a need, but teaching that he is not in charge.  Last night was one of those nights.

It involved crying on just about all our parts.  Shepherd getting so upset that he threw up, and all of us being a bit frazzled by the time the kids fell asleep.  This morning, everyone woke up a little more cheerful.  It’s amazing what sleep can do for your attitude.  Sophie, however has still been having struggles with being mean to her brother.  It’s very normal sibling rivalry and resentment.  This morning I had to send her to her bed.

As we were talking, I knew the typical lecture wouldn’t cut it, so we talked.  With a trembling voice Sophie said, “I tried sharing my room with Shepherd, but he cries a lot and it makes me anxious.  I just want a place to be by myself sometimes.”  Pretty astute for a 5 year old.

I get it.  I do.  I need my downtime as well.  It’s how I recharge.  We had already decided to head out to an adoption yard sale being held by some friends of friends, and Katie and I talked about it on the way.  The yard saling was a success.  Sophie scored her first aquarium paid for with tooth fairy money, and we found some other things for the kids.  On the way home we decided that Sophie was right.  She’d had her own room since she came to live with us.  She’d been incredible about sharing, but it was taking a toll on her.

And so it began.  The reason this poem has been on my mind all day.  For those of you tight on space who have ever tried to rearrange know that while verbally you can say, “OK, we’ll put his bed in the playroom and divide up the toys.  Bring one of the dressers in here and rearrange some clothes”, in reality what happens is something like a re-enactment of the old song, “There’s a Hole in the Bucket, Dear Liza, Dear Liza.”

The only room that we haven’t moved something around in is the kitchen, and that’s because it’s gridlocked.  It was referred to as ‘holding area C’ for a large part of the day.  Stuff was moved, shuffled, rearranged, and functions of various pieces of furniture were reappropriated.

We’re not done, but I think the big stuff is in it’s new place.  Sophie and Shepherd both went to bed pretty easy, which may mean he was wanting some space, too.  Now come the fun lessons, like which toys are community property and which ones come under the squatter’s rights.  I can’t wait for the easy stuff, like intimidating potential suitors by cleaning my guns when they come over.  This toddler stuff is hard.

Well, we’ve been home about two weeks now and everyone is settling in quite nicely.  Shepherd has gone from screaming in fear any time one of our cats walked into the room to chasing them around the house and snatching out a clump of fur if he catches one (he’s gotten a couple of time outs for that).   I can now play with him outside while Mom stays in and cleans house, and in an unprecedented move he stayed in the car with me and Sophie while Katie went into the grocery store for a moment (there were bubbles…bubbles that smelled like Fruit Loops, that’s all I’m saying).  He still hasn’t gone anywhere with just me, but that will come.

The boy can work a whine.  We learned he was the youngest in his foster home and you can tell!  I have never seen a child grin and whine at the same time, but Shepherd can do it, especially when he wants to get his sister in trouble.

Sophie is doing very well in school.  We went over to a classmate’s house today for a Labor Day lunch and met some of the other parents.  Sophie is a little grumpy early in the morning, but she has good days at school and has made some friends.

We are slowly unpacking and getting stuff down from the attic that we had put up for ‘unnamed child #2′.  Shepherd is exploring his world and Sophie is a great big sister.  It’s quite funny and sweet to listen in on their conversations once the lights are out and it’s bedtime.  Sophie was teaching him his ABC’s last night.  She calls him ‘Comper’, which she insists is the name of the fox from “The Fox & the Hound” despite our efforts to set her straight.  The last thing we heard last night from their room was ‘Happy Dreams, Comper.”

To give you some perspective from adoption world, it is not unheard of (and some would say common) for Shepherd to be having night terrors, not sleeping unless Katie were on an air mattress in his room, and basically needing constant 24/7 attention.  The fact that he will go to bed on his own and fall asleep with a typical 3-year old whining is incredible.

His English is slowly getting better than my Cantonese, which is laughable.  The travel phrasebooks don’t translate the really necessary phrases you need like, “the cat won’t hurt you”, “stop whining”, or “quit trying to take your shirt off as I am trying to put it on.” the latter, he thinks, is a grand game we play in America just after bath time.

Sure there are things to be done and there will continue to be.  I ran into Dr. Livingstone mowing the back yard yesterday, he made a wrong turn at Albequerque, and my fish tank could be, at this moment, spawning the star of the next Saturday afternoon TV movie where they sell you storm windows during the commercials, but that will come in time.  We are enjoying the new normal, even if we don’t quite know what that is yet.

I know it’s been a few days.  We’ve all been settling in and recovering from jetlag.  By “settling in” I mean haven’t unpacked a suitcase yet, and by “recovering from jetlag” I mean waking up at 4 in the morning and feeling like death warmed over at 3 pm.  It’s slowly getting better and Shepherd is adjusting just fine.  I thought I would take a few moments and catch you up on the last couple of days from our trip.

The day before we left we had to go the US Consulate’s office and be interviewed to make sure we were the right family getting the right kid, and then we swore an oath which in effect made Shepherd a citizen the moment he touched US soil.  It was a neat time.  Cameras weren’t allowed, so there are no photos.  That evening we decided to eat with some friends at a fancy restaurant.  In China, one of the prerequisites for a ‘fancy’ restaurant is there are usually several fish tanks in the front of the store where there are all sorts of seafood: shrimp, grouper, snapper, turtles, snakes, etc.  They are all alive and all marked with a per pound price.  You can actually pick your meal (anyone remember Mel’s Char Palace SNL skit?) and they will dip it out and take it back to the chef.

A lot of families decided to eat with us and we were in a packed room.  I was actually going to try the snake, but it was very expensive.  Sophie and I did try a jellyfish salad.  It’s made from the bell of the jellyfish (“the part that Marlin and Dori bounce on”) and it tasted like a sushi flavored Gummi Worm.  Sophie had two pieces.  We ended up getting some nice food, including ribs in plum sauce, and some Japanese style steaks, which was as much of an adventure eating as the snake would have been considering how rare they make that!

Katie and I tried to pack up some that night, but we were both tired.  We crashed with plans to get up and pack.

The next morning, Shepherd and I had a breakthrough.  No, it was actually a miracle.  He let me and Sophie take him downstairs to the playroom without Katie so she could stay in the room and pack.  He got a little nervous at first, but once we got there he played.  Nothing like that has happened since and that’s been about the only time she has been out of his sight when he’s awake.  It was a small thing to say, but such a huge blessing.

This was our last day in Guangzhou and we had to pick up Shepherd’s visa at 3 and then catch the 4:15 train to Hong Kong.   We then frantically tried to get some last minute shopping done, as well as the traditional ‘red Couch’ picture that a lot of families take at the White Swan.  We learned the red couch was gone, so we settled for some red chairs they have in a lounge near one of the entrances.

Then we met our guide for lunch at the Cow & Bridge, which is a Thai restaurant.  It was my last chance to try something crazy, so I opted for the ostrich in curry sauce.  It was actually very, very tasty.  I don’t think I would repeat the duck tongue, or the jellyfish salad, but I’d eat more ostrich.

We gathered things up and got in the van to go pick up the visa and leave Guangzhou.  Along the way our guide, Ike, started talking to Shepherd and he started getting more and more excited and more animated than we had ever seen him.  After a brief silence, Shepherd starting looking out his window (which was closed) and shouting to the cars in the lane next to him “Choo Choo Mae Gwa! Ngo Hai Mae Gwa Yun!”  Which Ike translated loosely as 3-year old speak for “I’m taking a train to America.  I’m an American!”.  At the train station Ike helped us get to our gate and then we took one last picture with him and said goodbye.

The train ride into Hong Kong was very different.  We learned that Hong Kong operates some of the trains and China operates others.  The really, really nice train with the Premium Class tickets we had coming into the mainland was a Hong Kong operated train.  The one we had going back was China run.  Even though we had first class tickets, the train was a bit older and the seats not as comfortable.  Still, it was a good train ride for the most part.  We were able to share it with a family we met while we were there from Charlotte, NC.  They were staying at our hotel and after a long stay at the train station where we took a long time to get transportation to the hotel (too convoluted to type here in my present state of mind) we finally arrived at our hotel tired and hungry.

The hotel restaurant was expensive.  I mean $20 for a cheeseburger expensive, but our only other alternative was to catch a shuttle to the airport and eat fast food there.  We ate with the family we met and had the most expensive meal I think we’ve ever eaten as a family.  The cheeseburger was delicious.  We went upstairs to this view

After quick showers we had this view

Two kids with a collective age of 8 hogging a king sized bed.  The next morning we were treated to this view waking up.

The plane ride was long and relatively uneventful.  We landed in Detroit, went through immigration, then customs, then rechecked our baggage for the short flight to Nashville.  We had a three hour layover, but by the time we went through everything we were sprinting through the airport (of course, our gate was the farthest one from our arrival gate) and made it to our gate with about 10 minutes to spare.  I wondered if there would be anyone on this flight we knew (Nashville is the largest small town you can live in.  Everyone knows everybody, or they have mutual friends) and sure enough a former church member was on our flight headed home.

We arrived to a wonderful crowd (if you were in it, again, thank you.  It warmed our hearts and made us feel incredibly loved), and had a great visit with friends.  We headed home and here is the money shot that made the last 2.5 years worth it.

That’s Shepherd walking into his home for the first time.  That was 4 days ago.

Now we move on to more settling in.  We learned his is incredibly afraid of cats (we have two) but is slowly coming around to them.  He no longer screams bloody murder and tries to climb the nearest adult when he sees one of ours.  He doesn’t seem to like American food.  We’ve gotten him China King once and tonight was Ramen Noodles, which he devoured.  He had his first checkup with the doctor and we’re rocking along.  Sophie’s been in school 3 days now and is doing well, and I have been in school 3 days now and am overwhelmed a bit catching up.  It will be a long weekend, but so worth it.

Thanks for following us on this journey.  My last two stat reports I get emailed to me on Mondays were shocking at the traffic this blog has generated since we left.  Even though our formal adoption is over, our story is not.  I invite you to stick around.  The archives of May 2006 tell our story of going to get Sophie, and this blog has always been more about life than just one particular topic.  In fact, my blog can get kind of eclectic and random, hence the title.

More stuff soon.

We’re here.  I know I have a couple more days of the trip to blog about, but I also have to go to work tomorrow and we’re still fighting jetlag.

Thank you!  For all of you who prayed, donated, encouraged, cooked, showed up at the airport, wrote on Facebook walls, sent emails, lent us stuff for the trip, etc.  Thank you.  We could not have done this without you.  I hope to finish up the travel blog, soon.

We’re crazily packing up our things.  Still have a bit more shopping to do, and we still need to take Shepherd’s Red Couch Picture.  We need the space the computer takes up and don’t need the distraction it offers.  I have a couple of days of blogging to catch up on, including Sophie eating jellyfish.

I might be able to update from Hong Kong.  If not, Lord willing, we’ll see you in Nashville Saturday afternoon.  Just a heads up.  Shepherd is *very* shy so don’t be offended if he shuts down or we have to bug out of the airport quickly.  Thank you for coming.  We love you all.

That’s a quote I often say thanks to my college friend, Todd.  He would often say that when things got chaotic.  That’s a good way to describe today: chaotic.  Not bad, just chaotic.

We had to wait around the hotel room while our guide went to the consulate for us.  The appointment was at 9.  The kids usually wake up about 6:30-7, so…we were in for some restlessness.  I woke up with a splitting headache.  I think it was from sleeping wrong.  Sophie and I stayed and watched Chinese cartoons while Katie and Shepherd went to Starbucks to get breakfast.

We got the call from Ike around 10 or so and he told us that he would leave directions to a toy store with the front desk and we could take a taxi.  Grabbing a taxi in China is a Darwinian experience.  If you don’t have help from the hotel staff, you could be in trouble.  Fortunately, we had help from the hotel staff.  Unfortunately, the particular driver we got didn’t know where we wanted to go.  The parking attendant wrote down the name of another mall.  So, off we went.

I’ve already briefly described Chinese traffic.  A former pastor and current Facebook friend described it like being in the middle of a wasp’s nest.  That’s an accurate description.  You not only have to worry about the cars to either side of you, but you also have to look out for pedestrians and bicyclists coming towards you.  Some of them are loaded down, too.

Today, I got to experience this from the front seat.  There were numerous close calls.  I did shoot a little video that showed some cars cutting in line, but this is tame compared to what we experienced.  I actually started getting a little motion sick filming with the sudden starts and stops so I had to quit.  The video is too large to go here, so I will try to get it up on Facebook.

OK, this mall was what inspired the title of this blog post.  Here’s a map of one of the floors.

You see how many shops there are on one floor?  This mall was eight…stories…tall!  There were people everywhere.  There were some cool shops, too.  If I could have gotten it home with out breaking it there was this very cool maquette wall hanging of Spider-Man.  We got a lot of stuff at cheap prices.  You can bargain here, in fact, it’s expected.  There were no photography signs all over the place, so I didn’t want to chance getting kicked out.  Let me just say that if I’m the last person that wants to leave a mall, that’s saying something.  There was a whole geek floor.

The taxi ride back was, how shall I say, terrifying.  A cab pulled up to the sidewalk and someone got out.  I motioned to the driver if it was alright for us to get in and he nodded and popped the trunk for me to put in Shepherd’s stroller.  We piled in and he took off.

Now, I don’t know if we a) caught him just as he was about to go on break, b) caught him after he had gotten into an argument with someone just before we got in, or c) ticked him off because we were Westerners and put him in an awkward position (we later heard from a very nice Frenchman that some taxi drivers don’t like carrying Westerners around).  Anyway, he was ticked off the whole way home.  Rude ticked off.  When a light turned green he started laying on the horn.  Not the little ‘get moving’ toot but more like ‘if I had the strength to shove this steering wheel through the engine block I would’ honk.  We had a couple of close calls with some buses and one or two close calls with pedestrians.  I was glad to see the Pearl River because it meant we were getting close.  When we got out at the hotel I actually said a prayer for the couple that got in the cab after us.  No joke.

After a brief rest we swam in the hotel pool (where we met the nice Frenchman) and then went to the playroom to play.  About 7:30 CST we briefly Skyped with Sophie’s new kindergarten teacher who was incredibly kind to talk to Sophie before her day started since Sophie is starting school late.  I walked across the island to pick up laundry and grabbed some cold water and some 7-11 spicy fish which I am now regretting.  I digested the duck tongue more easily.

Tomorrow is our last full day in Guangzhou.  Tomorrow afternoon we go to the Consulate office to swear the citizenship oath.  We also have some more gift shopping to do and a whole lot of packing.  I think we’re going to have to buy a small suitcase to pack up the stuff to take home.

We also had a wonderful family time singing children’s songs.  Video of that will be on Facebook, too.

Off to bed.  You can be praying that Sophie and I (all of us really) will adjust to the time change quickly as we both start school on Monday after landing on Saturday.  Also pray for no stress as we try to pack up without burying stuff we need in the bottom of a suitcase.